U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
40s are totally the cure
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
