Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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