no one should ever give us hovercrafts
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
