The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
