Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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