I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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