I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Pants are for mortals
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
