ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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