ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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