p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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