the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
