Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
