My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
