Can Purell be used as lube?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
