New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
