Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
