Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
