I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Two words: nipple clamps
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