I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize
