Having a random hookup so left but love u
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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