i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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