I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
