I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
