Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
