The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
