fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
