I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
