It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
