dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
