The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
