who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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