We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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