He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
