I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
