talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
