its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
two words...techno handjob
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
