Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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