I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
