You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
