babies were throwing up all over the place
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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