He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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