so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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