I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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