You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
