i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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