He disabled his match.com account in front of me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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