Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
