Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
