so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I will pee on everything he values.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
