So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
